ARTIST GALLERY

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"... No. But..."

"Hmn?"

"I will be eventually."

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January sucked. A lot.

I had a massive blow dealt to my confidence and security. I thought something had my back, but I got dropped hard at the last minute because of... well-meaning, I guess, ignorance and misinformation. Now I'm too tired to bother fighting it - and even if it's resolved in the way I ultimately wish it would be, the damage is more than done.

Everything hurts and I'm kind of in a fog now. But - I'll be okay eventually.

Ila is mine, her father/lover Idris belongs to my best friend, confidant, and husband ♥

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TAKING PSYCHE

Taking Psyche; Taking Soul

This was just a silly little tiny AU for Ila and Idris as a one-off for a project that didn't go through. I had a lot of fun though, and definitely pushed myself really hard. I learned a lot while working on this one, for sure. ^^ Technically, part two of two illustrations that were meant to be printed side by side. Not quite a diptych, but I figure they compliment eachother nicely.

Ila is mine, Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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TAMING EROS

Taming Eros; Taming Desire

This was just a silly little tiny AU for Ila and Idris as a one-off for a project that didn't go through. I had a lot of fun though, and definitely pushed myself really hard. I learned a lot while working on this one, for sure. ^^ Technically, part one of two illustrations that were meant to be printed side by side. Not quite a diptych, but I figure they compliment eachother nicely.

Ila is mine, Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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GOOD MORNING

Ila pressed a kiss to one of the many dozens of roses tattooed on his bicep. "Why didn't you wake me up to help you, baba?

Idris huffed, one of his thighs flexing as her fingertips brushed over the vein again. His hand twisted up and slowed, lube and precum making a rhythmic sticking sound.

"D-did not want to bother, habibti."

Ila rolled her eyes and bit down on his dark skin, tasting salt and making him hiss. "Not a bother, old man."

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Just an illustration from the short story I wrote, Good Morning. For some reason the image wouldn't leave my head until I painted it, haha.

Ila is mine, Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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VIOLINIST

Attempted to colorize this black and white painting and now I'm remembering why I never bother. Not nearly enough control of the color and I usually want to paint on top anyway.

Original Version | Blood Version

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Idris was classically trained to play the violin with his right hand in the 1960s as a young man, though he's left-handed. Within that decade, he and two friends come up with the idea for Elk Garden, but then realize it could be considered blasphemous/haram; a lot of the lyrics concerning religion are... Not charitable. And in Lebanon, that kind of thing could get him and his friends in prison for 3-9 years (at least, as of the 2010s, might've been way worse in the 60s-70s, can't find much info at a cursory glance; always have to do more research).

Concerned with total anonymity as he and his friends immigrate to the US and become citizens in the 70s, not only does he adopt the stage persona of The Black Stag right out of the gate and use a pseudonym for band-related paperwork, he learns to play the violin with his left hand to throw family off his trail - who eventually cut him off/out of their lives anyway for his confession of apostasy from Islam. Being a southpaw violinist for a middle eastern symphonic metal band that popped up out of fucking nowhere helps a lot with publicity in the beginning.

The band disappeared in the 90s, and then popped back up for a final, two-month-long curtain call over twenty years later in the same venue they started in. This is most likely him just practicing at home to remember how holding the mirrored violin feels. He'd kept up with playing throughout the dormant decades as an accountant and single dad - but, he played with his right hand... And if you know anything about violins, you know it takes years to master one hand, never mind both.

Ila knows that. And eventually walks in on him practicing with his left hand, with a left-handed violin, and suddenly she starts asking. A lot. Of questions.

:3c Oops.

Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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FORGET NOT

I think I painted this one on auto-pilot, more than I had any conscious idea of what I was painting as I was painting it. The rain was a last minute addition, but I'm glad I added it. I had Ne Obliviscaris's song Forget Not on repeat the entire time I painted this, eheh.

Ila is mine, Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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MORNING

"Good morning, habibti."

They often wake up tangled together, especially as the months get colder. Idris makes an excellent heated blanket. :)

Ila is mine, Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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MY HEART

A few months after Ila was born, Idris got a white ink tattoo of a half-bloomed rose on the inside of his forearm and officially completed his sleeve. It's all but invisible after twenty-seven years and him being dark-skinned to begin with, but if you know where and how to look, it can still be seen.

They both know where to look. ♥

Ila is mine, Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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PROMISES

At least Idris has the decency to whisper vulgar things to Ila when they're out in public, haha. More expression practice, painting over the models I have sculpted of these two's faces.

Ila is mine, Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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VULGAR

Practicing expressions with metalhead!Idris, by painting over a head sculpt I made of his likeness with photo references off to the side.

This specific expression is filed under: Things he'd do to Ila out in public when she looks at him, then when she does a double take, his face is totally neutral. Probably looking at his phone or something. Dirty old man. A provocation and a promise, and Idris keeps his promises to Ila.

Bonus: Look at this comparison. That's three years, haha. I originally did this expression for some dumb naughty meme thing on Tumblr... He used to look so fucking weird. My art used to look so weird and unlike me. I'm glad that changed.

Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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IDRIS

I've been doing a lot of Stuff behind the scenes (work I can't share, bouncing between projects, attempting to navigate life through... everything going on in the world), and in between all of that I got the bright idea to record some video process for something since I haven't done that in years. So, I did this second portrait of Idris based off of the blender sculpt I made.

The process video was a very nice success, and you can find it available for download here ♥

Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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SUMMONED

On a whim I decided to play around with Blender the other night and made a quick sculpt of Idris's head - it's basically just a sketch. Then I took some screenshots of it in this dramatic sort of top-down light and drew over them, and holy fuck it was the best decision I'd ever made in my life LOL. I almost wish I could do that for everything, but I feel like the cost of sculpting every single thing I intend to illustrate would outweigh the potential benefit in the time taken alone.

But still, this was a fun, successful experiment that I intend to repeat for some other things. :D I talk a little more about the process and whatnot on my SubscribeStar, too!

Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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LATE AFTERNOON

Ila and Idris's first time in the Victorian!AU, after years of hiding their pining for each other from each other, then months of their shared confession weighing heavy on the both of them.

The catalyst for this dam finally breaking being an awful day of Ila being with her blackmailed betrothed, so - Idris decides to show her what real pleasure is. She's been in love with her old man since she was small, and he's always loved her in turn. So, it's no surprise that it comes to a head on the heels of a stupid boy trying to lay claim to what has always been the assassins' to claim.

Ila is mine, her father/lover Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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REFELECTION

A scene from The Summoning that wouldn't leave me alone until I drew it. I may redraw/repaint this in the future with the charcoal aesthetic found in a few other pieces in my gallery.

Ila is mine, her father/lover Idris belongs to my husband ♥

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I talk a lot more about this piece on my SubscribeStar.

BY THE SEA

I love this stupid banana (centrifuge ♥) with my whole heart, so I decided to use him as a guinea pig to get acquainted with my iPad, since I've been writing on it more than I've been drawing on it. I colored it on my desktop, but sketching it on my iPad was really fun and definitely opened the floodgates. I want to try and use my iPad for smaller/sketchier things, I think...

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LAST DANCE

The whoosh of a door sliding open caught the old turian's attention, pulling him away from the proceedings below. His eyes widened, a scowl overtook his craggy features, his mandibles snapping tight to his face.

"Artaius -?"

The slight turian strode through the open doorway, up to General Naucratius in the warehouse's grungy glass catwalk. Her usually timid bearing was absent today - had been absent for some time - and her mandibles twitched at him in acknowledgement as she took her place by his side. He exhaled a weary sigh.

"I told you not to come here." His hand found the bare plate of cowl sweeping into the curve of her back, the cool gray of his carapace contrasting with the warmth of hers. The fluttering fabric cascading off her shoulders shifted as she did.

Artaius gazed up at her father without a word - for words need not be spoken here - and the old General stared back. Unmoved, unflinching, though somewhere his breath caught. He knew that look in her eye, the flint-hard expression of a war-ravaged mind. There was honor in that, in a mind hardened by combat. There was no honor in this, in the emptiness behind bright emerald eyes.

"The pirate?"

Her voice, too, sent a cold chill through Naucratius in a way he knew so well, yet with her was so different. No. There was no honor in a mind ravaged by rape.

The scarred turian gestured with a free hand, and both of their attentions turned to the scene before them.

The infamous Terminus pirate Von Verrikan stood on the simple chair, a modest rope slack about his neck, wrists and ankles manacled. His end was nigh, and like so much scum before him driven to evil acts for the release of the noose, he was rock hard and serene. Even as his executioner stood a few meters away, even as Naucratius and Artaius looked down at him.

Violet eyes turned up to stare directly at Artaius, and a grin crossed his face, mandibles flared as the force of the executioner's biotics swept the stability of the chair from beneath his feet...

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A commission for VonVerrikan! The lawless Terminus pirate hanged for his crimes by an unnamed bounty hunter contracted by General Naucratius, the father of Von's latest - and final - victim, Artaius.

I think there's going to be more of Von and Artaius in the future, too. :3c I'm having a lot of fun doing story-building with Artaius and her encounters with Von - and even after this, when she thinks she sees a ghost...

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THE BREEDER

This is a long-awaited (almost four years, wow) commission done for SassyGayRaptor, of her big xenomorph breeder called Pharaoh!

I had so much fun with the glow too. v__v It took a bit for me to wrap my head around how it would work, especially on the crest and inside the dome, but once I finally got it to work I had a lot of fun with it. Adding the reflections onto the dome on top of the inner glow could've been done better, but you win some you lose some, haha. It still looks really pretty so I'm really happy with it. :3

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HOME FROM WORK

A super long-overdue commission for P-Sebae! Of Mil the jaguar wooing his cheetah ladyfriend Chelsea - and being hurried enough about it that he hasn't bothered to shower off the motor oil grime in his fur. :v Men I s2g.

Fun thing: I decided to play with a slight chromatic aberration effect on this one and I'm starting to see why other artists use it, haha. Some go too far with it, but some subtle color-shifting-nonsense honestly looks really nice in ways I wasn't expecting it to! I also had way too much fun rendering all of the smaller details on this - I think the curtains were my favorite.

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HIVE ROMP

"There was no mistake, this odd male was Hive. But... He was interesting, too. Enough to capture this seasoned, scarred warrior's attention. So, he waited in his coiled half-alert state, patient and still. A span of time later that he'd not been aware of, a flicker of red in the low light of the Hive caught his attention. He twitched, a full body ripple of muscle beneath sleek, ink black flesh.

Yes - yes, that was the one. The interesting one... The pretty one.

The big male shifted his weight, another ripple of muscles like liquid steel. His chitin creaked against resin, drool and slime stretching between him and the niche. His segmented tail uncoiled, and he stilled again, saliva sliding down his head. A moment more, then he pounced down from the ceiling, twisting in midair and landing near soundless in front of the other male. The fog swirled as he reared up from his crouch, staring down at the other alien, lips slowly parting to reveal clenched fangs.

The red one took a step back, shoulders hunched and body lowering in the presence of the towering, battle-scarred one. He hissed his greeting to the senior warrior, teeth bared just the same. He waited a fraction of a second, then attempted to slide past -"

Read the full thing on Subscribestar ♥

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A gift done for Centrifuge a bit ago! His cute red dangerbug getting overpowered and dominated by a more senior member of the Hive. I don't think he's complaining much. >__>; I had a lot of fun with this one - seeing as it was an accidental, in-spirit-redo of Hive Rut from... Fuck, three years ago somehow. Time flies!

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THE INGENUE

This is Artaius Xyin - apparently, I wanted a cute girl for the bad VonVerrikan to have his dastardly way with. v__v She is, before Von gets her in his claws, a very smitten student to another of Von's characters, the old historian Iunius. I'm excited to play with Von and possibly expand her character for a larger story, we'll see!

Because I am predictable: her father is a scarred, very old Palaven military general named Naucratius that Artaius, at the very least, has some kind of romantic love for. Her facepaint is a somewhat simplified version of his.

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K I N S L A Y E R

Decided to doodle a headshot of the infamous terminus pirate, VonVerrikan! Did this for him a while ago as a warmup to some other work. Turians are fun to draw. :3

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DAUGHTER'S DESIRE

A commission for VoidPhoenix! Featuring Xjal's daughter, Zephyra, pleasuring herself with an oddly familiarly shaped dildo... >__>

Xjal explaining the context for this image: "It's a dildo of her father's (Xjal's) cock. The idea is that she's previously shattered it, but then inevitably gathered the pieces back together and repaired it, kintsugi-style (her relationship with her father is... complicated). She also enchanted it to perfectly match his shape, and pulse with heat and spurt illusory cum, but she doesn't realize that Xjal can reverse the sympathetic link that created to feel through it as if she was really fucking him."

Whoops. :3c Wonder how Zephyra would feel about that if she knew.

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ARRIVAL

The alien ended up on board a woefully unprepared colony ship... I wonder how much havoc it'll wreak before it's found?

Been a minute since I've painted one of these bugs! This is meant to be a part of a series with a short erotic horror story. Arrival > Emergency > Evacuation > Assimilation. Emergency and Evacuation will be in-spirit redos of two pieces I did back in 2015 - over five years ago. :D That's kind of nuts!

Assimilation will be my love letter to the body horror/transformation/invasion/violent themes in the franchise. A woman being fucked and transformed by the alien. Not very gory or gross out - I don't like gross out horror. But definitely biomech growing under transparent skin/bits slipping into places they shouldn't belong kind of stuff! Maybe a bit of blood.

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THE GROTTO

Looks like the water dragon got caught by the phoenix again...

I have to thank Centrifuge and VoidPhoenix for being so absolutely saintly patient with me in the couple years it took to finally finish this illustration. Thank you both, from the bottom of my heart. ♥

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